Introduction:
Sixteen one and a half and two year olds, all crammed into a small room from 7am till 6pm . With them there are three to four teachers, who are held responsible for each of them.
A mother puts her hands over her face, hiding the tears from her young children. It has been a hard day, a constant battle between mother and children, and she is exhausted. They have tried her and she is at her wits end. And now they have made a pig-pen out of her living room, and company is expected to come tonight.
A Father and son stand in the garage talking about the boy’s day at school and the issues that this young kindergartener faces. “Simple” issues such as how to respond to the boys that won’t include him at recess, and always being the last one chosen on kickball day. And the father is tempted to give the “quick fix” and brush these issues, or brush them off completely.
Screams and shrieks can be heard from the basement playroom. Both mother and father rush downstairs, expecting to find severe injuries, only to discover that their small children have broken out into a fight over a toy. How will they handle this?
The new mother comes into the living room to find her 6 month old child near the outlet. She removes the child, and says no. Then seats herself on the couch, and watches as the child moves toward it again, this time with a smirk as he looks back to make sure she sees him. His sin nature is already rearing its ugly head.
The expecting parents have just finished “child-proofing” ever corner of their house as they sit down to decide on the color of the baby room.
All of these people either have the opportunity to counsel before them or have already chosen their method of discipleing the children in their world. These moments, though small and brief and in our eyes, maybe even dare I say “simple,” have very profound affects on these children, and have the potential to shape them either toward God or away from Him.
Counseling takes place every moment of everyday, thus the counseling of children is all that more serious and not to be taken lightly. These young people are little souls that need to be steered toward God and are at a very vulnerable stage. The potential is high to be steered His direction and this can have lasting affects on their lives. And yet the potential is also equally high to be steered away from God, and sadly this too has lasting affects on their lives. So whether the counsel being given to a child is formal or informal, it is always a stewardship that must not be taken lightly, and we must always be alert and ready to be used of God in the lives of these little sponges who are soaking up all they can.
God’s Concern for Children:
Obviously anything that concerns God had better concern us! So is God concerned about children?
The cry of a child: sometimes we find it cute, like when their little lips pucker out and we have the bottle close at hand so we know the tears will not last long.
Other times we find it annoying, like in those wee hours of the morning when suddenly a shrill cry breaks the peaceful silence of slumber, and the mother has to once again drag her exhausted body out of bed for the umpteenth time to care for her baby.
Other times we find it down right heart breaking, like when the little five year old lies in the hospital bed, tired of chemo treatment after chemo treatment, and silently the tears begin to form and fall down his precious face, as pain wracks his small thin frame.
Nothing but sand could be seen for miles, and the wind is beginning to pick up. The woman falls, stumbling to her knees, almost dropping her son. She reaches for her skin with the water and tries to give her son a drink, and notices that it is empty. Crying, she holds him tightly, he is scarcely breathing, and his eyes are sunken in. With an extra surge of energy she gets up and spies some bushes. Walking over to it she gently places him underneath of it.
Not saying a word to him, she walks away, and sits down. Sobs wrack her entire being, for she knows that soon her son will die, and she cannot even be there for him because she cannot bear to watch. Suddenly she can hear his cries, as weak and faint as they are. She plugs her ears, and squeezes her eyes shut tightly, “Soon this all will be over…it will all be over!” The amazing thing is, she was not the only one to hear the cries of the young child that day. His cry was not just heard by his mother and all the wildlife within in the desert that day, but was heard by God Almighty! God heard the cries of a child:
This is one of the first places in scripture that we see God care for a child. From heaven, He heard the cry of this little baby in the wilderness, and God responded! He sent an angel and got Hagar and her son out of trouble, and Ishmael grew and became a great nation (Islam) and we see God still using them today! And throughout the rest of scripture God’s concern for children is shown time and time again. In His instructions to the children of Israel 11: 18 -20), in His care for Moses, protecting him as a baby, giving him a place to live, and the countless care He showed to others. And as we move into the New Testament His care is even more evident! When His disciples were shoving the children aside, seeing them as perhaps “too young”…”of no concern to the Master.” The very Son of God, who created humans, specifically who created them to start out small and young, responded much differently than His young followers:
13And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. 14But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God kingdom of God
So as we see here, God is greatly concerned with children. With their physical well-being: as seen with Ishmael and Moses, but also more importantly with their spiritual wellbeing: as seen with His commands to Israel
“But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
The Parents Role in Counseling Children:
Many Parents today have handed the training (counseling) of their children over to the daycare teachers, and the school teachers, and it is sad to say that when the parents don’t train, others will and more often than not in a way that does not turn their hearts toward God.
This is backwards and so contrary to what God wants. He expects parents to bring their children up, certainly there is room for help from the outside, but the primary source of training and counsel must come from the parents! The parents need to be the ones raising their children.
Whether the children are home schooled, public schooled, or Christian schooled; the parents still need to be the primary source of education. Whether they attend an E-free or a southern Baptist, or a Regular Baptist church, their primary source of spiritual training must be taught to them by their parents. The problem with the counsel and training of children today, I believe is with apathetic Parents who are not willing to personally teach their children.
They instead are allowing the Public school and its secular teachers, to raise and teach their children. They are expecting the church to bring their children up spiritually. And the thing is these are meant to be only a help, an assistant to the parent, and parents are sadly making the huge mistake of trying to allow them to be the overall source of learning and education and counsel.
No wonder God wrote for us to “train our children” for He knew that the temptation would be for us to just sit back and allow the world or even our church to raise and teach and train our children. The primary source is always to be the parents!
Responsibilities of Counselor:
Since the primary source of counsel and training is to be the parent, I must see myself as a helper that comes alongside and helps the parent. Thus I have a responsibility to the parents first, to involve them, and to get it to the point where it is them counseling their child not me.
My responsibility to the child is to love them enough to get to know them, and then to speak to their life in such a way that they see and turn to God and His Word, and then to help them to see how their life fits into Who God is and what God says. I have a responsibility to get to their heart, and not just their behavior, and help to train their parents to do the same. To help them and their parents to see them as God sees them.
And God calls me to be faithful in speaking the truth to both the parents and their children, in both word and deed. This is in other words me “planting and watering the seeds” (1 cor. 3:6-7), and trusting God to give the increase! And He will, in His time. And maybe I never get the blessing of seeing that growth but I know that I have done what God has called me to do. My goal is not treasures on this earth (the good feeling I get in seeing the counselees change/praise of parents) but laying up treasures in heaven!
“I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor.” 1 Corinthians 3: 6-8
It is not about me (“neither is he who plants anything….but God who gives the increase.) It is not me who brings about the change, but God thus I need to trust God with that and just be faithful in teaching the gospel and living it out ( planting/watering) trusting that God will use it and work in their lives and bring them to Himself in His time (bringing the increase).
And I must always remember that I am just an instrument, and the player of the instrument is the One we always focus on. He is the One I call others (even children) to focus on, as well, for all else fails:
“Give us help from trouble, For the help of man is useless.” Ps. 208:12
Responsibilities of Child:
As a counselor I will be used of God to help call the counselee to the responsibilities that they have within their current place that they are in life. Children must:
A. Either to come to faith in Christ or live with faith in Christ:
Every person on the planet has one purpose, and that is to please God and bring glory to our Maker ( 1 Cor. 10:31) The only way we can do this is by living with Faith in Christ: “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 1:16
As a counselor, my ministry to others will be to call them to faith in Christ (if they are unsaved), or to call them to live with faith in Christ (saved) especially in the midst of their crisis.
C. Remember that God requires them to obey the authorities He has placed in their life:’
This means that I will strive to turn their hearts toward their parents, and strive to get them to turn to their parents and get them to the place where it is them getting counsel from parents. My job is never to come in between the parents and the child. The child has a responsibility to the parents alone.
D. Get involved in what God is doing
This will obviously look different and vary from person to person. And it will look different from the parent’s perspective, to the children’s perspective, but one thing is certain they are required to trust and obey Godm and this is what I am to strive to help them to do.
Conclusion:
Counseling children is highly important, because they have some of the greatest potential for impact, both good and bad, that can change their life to turn to, or away from God. I must always be available to be used of God as an instrument in the life of another, even when that “another” is a young “another”!
When people are really young not a whole lot is going on spiritually and too often this affects the way we see them and teach and counsel them. We sometimes are tempted to think that because they are small, and not fully developed mentally that it is not worth counseling them, but how it is!
They are little souls that are just as sinful and in need as any adult and grown person! Though often we may not even see the effects of our counsel, we still must be faithful in steering these young hearts toward God, by being an example to them.
No matter how I look at children, whether socially, physically, or mentally, the most important is spiritually for that part is what will last.
There are only two things that will last, God’s Word and people’s souls, and if my life is not being used to invest in both of these then something desperately needs to change! And one way I can do this is by ministering God’s Word to the children He gives me the privilege to come into contact with. I must always remember that they are little souls that need to be steered toward God in any and everyway possible.
