"That I may declare all your works!" Ps. 73:28

Phew! That was a whirlwind! There I was running around all week, here…there…everywhere to prepare for Krista’s (sister’s) wedding! It was craziness all over the place! And emotions ran high the week before the wedding…for things would never ever be the same again!

On that cloudy day that broke and gave way to a warm sunshiny Saturday, I said “goodbye” to my sister. For she left for Kentucky, probably not to be seen again till Christmas. I said “goodbye” to our late night talks, for where once she confided in me…told me everything…she would now do that with her husband (and rightly so I might add!).

I said “goodbye” to sharing a room with her…to waking her very loudly and rudely in the morning…I said “goodbye” to all the teasing…all the movie nights…all the walks to and from work…all the river times. That day many things came to an end…and many wonderful things began for my sister.

I would love to say that..that day I stayed strong…that not a tear came to my eye…but then I would be lying! God has been so good to me…so merciful…so gracious…words cannot express how good the Heavenly Father and Creator has been to this lowly prodigal! He has given me wonderful parents and a very very close knit family…

As my father and mother took their places next to Krista before the preacher (John Murray) and more importantly before God, they were asked “who gives this woman to this man?” and my earthly father, the one who raised Krista…who raised me…who taught us…disciplined..loved…cared…and provided for us…there he stood, where he knew he might one day stand…and he said those wonderful words that come from with sadness and yet a tinge of joy: “Her mother and I.”

The sadness…because all his work as a protector is done…for Krista with those words and the ceremony to follow passed from him and his guardianship to Caleb’s.

Joy because of the work that God did through him toward Krista. A sense of satisfaction perhaps…a mere hint of “It is finished” (Said by Christ on the cross.)

As he said “her mother and I.” I could see the tears form in my mother’s eyes…I could see the shere force that dad was trying to conjure up (much like I would do in the next few moments) so as not to cry…and that was all I could take…it hit me in that moment just what was happening…a very solemn and very joyful and sad time all wrapped into one moment. And tears stung my eyes…but I fought against that and swallowed hard past the lump in my throat.

This was serious…this was it! All those times she had pretended to “get married” all that planning…all that work…all that training…and now the little bird was passing out from underneath of her parents wings…out into the wide world to join her love in the sky and fly underneath of him. And as I sat, still in the nest…watching my parents sadness…I knew that one day my time too would come…whether I marry or not..there will come a time when I too must leave the nest. And it twill be the same thing over again only this time it will be me…not my sister!

So that day was CRAZY! I felt like my face would fall apart from smiling for so many pictures…that my heart would break with all the emotions running at the same time. But after the party died and we cleaned up and left for home…my thoughts turned rather quickly from the wedding to the summer lying ahead of me.

For the very next day I was scheduled to be at camp as a counselor for the rest of the summer (RRBC). And how my heart ached…I did not want to go!

I was just coming off of wedding craziness and did not realize how much that would wear on my…I was so loving just being home…with all the freedom…with my new puppy Jack…and I had just barely begun my relationship with Joshy and now would have to say farewell until six weeks was up!

Sunday morning came and a lump built in my throat! I did not want to go…|”Father is there anyway I could stay home? I know I said I would serve you at this camp…that I would follow you..but I am so scared! So alone! I just don’t want to go!”

But God had a plan (when does He ever not??!!). I came so close to crying that day so many times…but I also felt that much closer to God! For here I was coming off of a crazy week…headed to a camp I had never been to in my whole life…to be in charge of girls that I had never even met…expected to lead them spiritually…I was so afraid…but you see that was just what I needed to pull me closer to God!

I was now having to depend upon Him alone (something that does not come easy at home where pretty much everything is easy going).

But to be honest looking back at this first week of camp I can see the hand of God EVERYWHERE!

HE IS AMAZING! And AWESOME I LOVE HIM!

He orchestrated it so that I had seven girls, all of whom had been to the camp before…and boy was I gonna learn humility! For I knew nothing about the camp…and was constantly having to ask questions and getting help from of all people:  my girls! I mean here I was a 21 year old counselor who is supposed to know everything asking these 10 year old to 12 year old girls questions about what I was supposed to be doing!

But that is exactly what I needed for I struggle with pride!

These girls were so wonderful…so sweet and so polite they always answered all of my qs never really treating me as dumb… they also obeyed very well and got along together so well!

God was definitely in everything (when is He ever not??!!). Like my dad says it, if you are looking for Him, you WILL find HIM! And how wonderful!

Before I went to camp I was feeling apathetic…outside I strove hard for God…kept pursuing Him…but inside I did not feel Him…did not feel anything hardly…but it is in those times that we continue to fight continue to pursue regardless of feeling! For it is in those times that one grows the most!

Anyway, the first night we had to go to the cellar for a tornado, and how wonderful Gods protection was in that! And how great to see the girls go from fearing the storm to praising God in song as we lead them in singing! It was truly amazing!

(Sorry folks this note is going to be very disorganized…I have much to tell of what God did and is doing …it is just disorganized and for that I apologize).

Another amazing thing was how God always gave me the words to say during our Bible study times! In the morning and evenings I was responsible for leading my girls in a Bible study. The morning consisted of “Keys for Kids” devotional (what was given to us to do.) But instead of just reading the passage and the story, afterwards God always brought an illustration to mind from my own childhood, or just some extra information or insight that went right along with the passage and story.

I tell you it was amazing to watch the light come on for these girls at some of the more “simple” truths (in our eyes of course), and to have my own heart convicted along with them! It was amazing to see God do a work through me…and not for my glory so I could tout and brag but for His! It was also wonderful to learn where each of the girls was spiritually and to help them along and grow closer to them!

But probably one of the most amazing things was the day we learned about forgiveness.

It was Thursday or Wednesday (cant rememeber), but the morning devo was on forgiveness, and how we need to forgive others, and so afterwards I shared with them how when I was younger I believed that forgiveness was linked with your emotions. So that I would never forgive a person until I “felt” like it.

Which I told them, I learned was FAR from the truth! It was a lie Satan had used against me and won! How sneaky! It sounded so right…yet was so wrong! A lie is believed not because it’s believability is high, but because we want it to be true!

You see in this case of forgiveness…I would rather have it be a feeling! We all would if we admit it, for we would NEVER (or at least very rarely have to) forgive anyone…and when we did it would be SO EASY! If we only had to forgive when we felt like it then things would so easy! For forgiving when we feel like requires nothing on our part because we “felt” like it! WE put WAY too much stock in our feelings now days!

Real worship, real JOY, REAL LOVE, REAL KINDNESS, REAL MERCY, REAL GRACE, REAL SELFLESSNESS, REAL SERVANTHOOD, is when they are all done when WE DON’T even FEEL like doing them!

That’s the real thing folks! No doubt about it! Perhaps then the saved depressed people are the real worshippers out of us all! For they don’t ever do things because they “feel” they do things INSPITE of not feeling like doing it!

I told God just today while I was swinging in the rain: “God I feel so far away from you right now…I don’t FEEL anything for anyone or anything on the inside! But I won’t stop trying to love…trying to sing…trying to worship…pursueing you is not something I am going to stop just because I don’t “FEEL” you anymore…rather I will continue to serve inspite of it all!”

And that’s exactly what He requires! And so after that rabbit trail, I want to say that forgivenss is not a feeling! And I made absolutely sure to share this with my girls and made that clear. I then proceeded to share that forgiveness very simply was a promise…

A promise to never bring up the offense of another to the offender…to others...or even to yourself. And I shared some illustrations of each. At the end I was satisfied that they all understood that forgiveness was a promise.

So as we went about our activities that day…in my heart the Holy Spirit began tuggin ever so slightly about my unforgiving heart toward someone who has hurt me. And I knew that the bitterness had taken root…oh I had forgiven on the outside…to a point…but I had not fulfilled the promise to not bring it up to others (gossip) and I brought it up to myself quite a bit as well. But I was not ready to let go.

As I sat there in the front row with my girls, I passed out our notes for the evening service, and upon opening my own copy I could see that Pastor Charles Alber was going to speak on forgivenss…I chuckled to myself: “God you sure do plan things and orchestrate them well for this wandering and prodigal sheep!” But then another thought came “Ah, I know all there is to know about this forgiveness things…nothing new here…”

But as I sat there and listened intently to Pastor Alber…slowly the Spirit did work on my heart. And something that God shared through Pastor Alber that night struck me deep.

Oh as I said before I knew that forgiveness was a promise not to bring up the offense to the offender…nor to others…nor to yourself…and I of course knew I was guilty when it came to this particular person.

But God shared that night through Pastor Alber this very simple yet profound thought:

“You know that if ____ went to Jesus tonight and repented and asked forgiveness of ____ that God would forgive ____ right away…so do you think you are better than God? For you won’t even forgive ____ for doing ___”

“Bethy my daughter…you know full well that if ____ came to me I would forgive…you have been living as if you are better than I…higher than I! My daughter you are following in the footsteps of my enemy…my creation who turned on me! Please my daughter don’t you turn yourself as he (the devil) has! Forgive ____ LET IT GO! That is what forgiveness literally means! Just LET IT GO! Stop talking about it to others…but esp. to yourself! Move on my daughter! Free yourself from these nasty chains! Let me take control! I love you come back my dear and lost sheep!”

I knew what I needed to do…so as I stood in the back of the chapel waiting to help any of my girls for a lack of forgiveness…I took care in my own heart…my unforgiveness.

That night in evening devos, one of the girls shared her testimony (as was our custom). And after that made a nice transition into talking about the evening service…and once again I had to swallow my pride and tell them of my conviction. I admitted to them that I had been struggling with unforgiveness toward someone…they asked who (curious girls you know) but I did not tell them…I just explained that I had been wrong and that I was going to strive to change!

You see how God has been at work! He knew I needed those specific seven girls! He knew I needed those devos and those messages! He is amazing and such a loving and forgiving God, NOTHING CAN COMPARE!

I pray that you will find Him at work in your life as well! I pray that you too will keep striving for Him even when you do not feel like it! I hope that you too will learn forgiveness! It is a daily battle…sometimes an even moment to moment battle and promise! Keep making those promises! How odd it has been to know that when I should have been leading I was learning! They say that one learns when he teaches and I have found that to be so true!

Thankyou for all the prayers! I knew there were people praying for me this first week! And How HE HAS ANSWERED!

Again I apologize for how unorganized this has all been!

I look greatly forward to what He will do the rest of this summer, I have no idea what He has in store but oh how wonderful and good He is, I know it will be what is best for me!

Losing your marbles!

This was the maid of honor speech that I read at my sister's reception after her wedding! I was told it was hard to hear what I was saying...so for those who did not hear well here you are:

My dear sister,

WOW! It is hard to believe that this day is finally here! After spending our childhood days, in the basements of all the different houses we lived in, playing house, now is the time when you begin to actually live “house.” No longer will I hear “Bethany let’s go play house!” No now I will hear “Bethany, you will never believe what we are doing at my house? OR “Get a load of this recent story about my kids.”

The things we played in pretend will now be lived out in reality by you. Gone are the plastic babies who we had to make cry, here will now be the real live thing in the flesh crying and screaming for your attention! Gone are the plastic bottles with fake juice, here and now there will be sippy cups with actual juice that can actually be spilled all over that brand new carpet!  Gone are the empty diapers that we envisioned had “messes” in them, now for the real mess! Those were some fun times Sis, and it is sad to leave them, but at the same time how exciting as we anticipate the future!

You were always the “guinea pig” being the eldest. And I grew up watching you. Sometimes learning from your mistakes, and sometimes making the exact same ones.

When we were younger you were always the “good girl” and I the evil tyrant, cheese you made me look bad! At times we got along famously…other times not so much.

Like the time you got marbles, and I felt that I should have some. There we sat innocently in the back seat. I in my car seat and you in yours. I could not get my eye off of those marbles, I wanted them something fierce! And as I watched them in your hand an idea sparked in my head. Now if I just took them, you would cry out, so I first knew that I had to ask you for them, thus you would be willingly handing them over, thus the crying out would be easily bypassed. But there existed another problem. The issue of the fact that eventually you would want them back.

This I would bypass as well and with great ease mind you! So I proceeded with my devious plan. I asked you for them, and you with your huge blue eyes and sweet spirit (Gullible *cough cough) kindly handed them over to what you thought was simply your curious little sister. Now our car seats were only close enough for you to hand them off, not close enough for you to retaliate and try to get them back should anything run amuck, which indeed it would!

Upon receiving them I began dropping them one by one out the window that was cracked because it was summer. And there on the little stretch of highway in Iowa your marbles were lost! I mean that in a literal not mental sense! Although the latter is at times debatable! Just kidding! LOL!

Anyways you may ask “why Bethany, why did you not just dump them all out at once…and why did you dump them out when you really liked them and wanted them in the first place?” Well in answer to the first I dumped them out one by one because I wanted it to be slow and drawn out, so that you would scream all the longer, and in answer to the second, I knew that if I tried to keep the marbles our parents would eventually return them to you, so in the end if I could not have ain’t no body gonna have em!

Now I was only around one or two at the time so of course I don’t remember actually doing this, I have just heard the story told and retold. But I want everyone to know that I regret what I did and wanted to pay my dues, and so here are two marble bags, I am paying back two-fold for what I stole, one for you Krista and one for you Caleb.

(Give them marbles) Here sister, and brother! And I swear I won’t take them this time!

Oh Krista, could I just see those for a second??? HAHA just checking to see if you would fall for it again jj jk!

Anyways in everything at the end of the day I could always count on you to listen and to share.

Being only two years apart, to a point I looked up to you but for the most part I saw you as my peer, as my friend, and a best friend at that! We were always close growing up and I believe that is due to our parents always telling us “You are each others best friends” and over time that became true!

I am so proud of you Krista and I love you! You have found a wonderful man in Caleb. I know that he will always take good care of you. In God’s sovereignty He made us sisters and now in His sovereignty He has allowed you to find a husband and to go on. But this is not the end Krista it is just another chapter! How good this past chapter has been, but we must press on and keep going forward! I look forward to the things God has in store for you both!

I pray for you both everyday and will continue to! I know that God will continue to bless you as you surrender to Him!

I love you Krista!

miracles around us?

Miracles are things that I have heard of in reading my Bible and in testimonials of other Christians, but never had occurred to anyone close to me. It was not up until here recently that I finally realized for myself just how much God controls and I got to witness a miracle within my own family!

Many reading this would remember a time when all of my "facebook" status' read something about my 16 year old cousin who went into Cardiac arrest while playing soccer. But not many would know that she was literally dead for at least 3 min. or that she should not even be alive today, and that she should have some kind of damage to the brain but does not. In fact the doctors that worked on her would tell you today that it truly is a miracle that she is alive! One that I am thankful for!
I went shopping with her the other day ( this was the first time that I had seen her since the incident)
and she was exactly the same as she was before. The same smiling beautiful young vibrant person she has always been and I was reminded that it was only by God's grace that she lives today!

After receiving the news about Kayla having her heart attack and the fact that she was unconscious and they were having a hard time getting her heart started again, fear struck my entire family. My sister started crying almost instantly fortunately Caleb ( her boyfriend) was there to take my place in comforting her freeing me to grab the three little ones and huddle together in a tight circle and pray for her, as my parents rush around to get out the door and to the hospital.

I also remember breaking away a little later and falling to my knees in my bedroom, and in the quiet I admitted to God that He was in control and pleaded with Him to spare Kayla. Words cannot express the fear that goes through you when a tragedy hits so close to home as that.
I was so afraid, we all were!

But it always seems that when something bad happens to me that God always points me to a passage that I need, one that gives me direction and comforts me. This time would be no different. I can remember getting up the next day and turning to Psalm 24. I have been studying the Psalms verse by verse trying to learn more about God and writing each new thing I learn about Him down.
So as I opened up my Bible and began reading I finally learned what it was that God was trying to teach me in this difficult time with my cousin.

Psalm 24:1 reads "The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;

According to this passage God owns ALL people! Saved or unsaved He owns them all and He can do whatever He sees fit with each one.
What happened to Kayla was totally out of my control. In fact it was out of everyone's control but God's. Through this tragedy I was shown that I do not control everything and this in turn caused me to realize just who is in control and caused me to lean more upon Him.

Also at camp I was reminded by a sermon that God can do as He pleases but also that what He does allow to happen to me is for my good. Sometimes in the midst of a storm we are blinded by the rain as to how this storm could possibly be good for us.
I know now when looking back that Kayla's incident was to bring me to a knowledge that I cannot control everything nor do I need to. God truly knows what is best!

" God has the right to crack the vessel when cracking it is the fastest way to share with the world what He has poured into it"- Romans 8:28 This was the statement that was in the sermon that I heard at camp and was such an eye opener for me as to why God did what He did in allowing my cousin to have the heart attack.

Something else that I realized was the fact that miracles happen everyday! Witnessing a miracle so close to home opened my eyes and got me thinking about miracles. And literally a miracle is defined simply as "an act of God" And when I really began to think about it I realized that I was so busy looking for the HUGE miracles ( like my cousins life being spared) that I missed the small ones around me. Like the fact that I wake up everyday, and have food on the table, and have spiritual food to sustain me. I could never accomplish or have anything on my own, thus these are all "acts of God" and they happen everyday!

God's mighty POWER has been displayed through out the Bible in BIG ways like parting the red sea or healing people or even bringing them back to life and in the small such as providing some refreshment to a house full of people celebrating the marriage of two people ( water to wine).
He performs miracles everyday.

Do you see them? Do you thank Him? Everyday we should fall on our knees in awe of the miracle of sending HIS only son to save the Human race. We did nothing to deserve that, we are rotten sinners, nothing worth looking at let alone saving, we deserved to die and live in eternal separation from God and yet He provided the only true salvation through the sacrifice and resurrection of His only Son Jesus Christ. Miracles are happening everyday whether we realize them or not.

Praying for rain with the umbrella up!

It was Wednesday of Jr. boys camp, and I was sitting in chapel as the invitation was being given.
Head bowed I was seeking the Lords face asking Him that He would work in the hearts and lives of all the young boys sitting in the pews.
As I was praying suddenly the name of a little boy in my brothers cabin came to mind "Thomas". His family used to come to my church and had left before he was really of age to accept Christ and I had never heard if he had or not. So I just began to pray that God would work in his heart that night and that if he was unsaved that he would accept Christ.
And right as I finished my praying I lifted my face only to see Thomas pass by me with his counselor. Tears filled my eyes as I began praising God for working in his heart and for giving him the courage to walk the aisle. And I am thankful to God when I say that Thomas accepted Christ that night!!!

But something that really struck me was the fact that I was surprised when I lifted my head and saw Thomas walking back. And that can only mean one thing, I was not expecting God to answer my prayer... or at least not that soon. I was not praying for rain with my umbrella up.
Why when God works am I so surprised? I say that my God is a mighty God and can do mighty things but do I really ... really believe that??

A few weeks later Thomas was back up for family camp along with my family and a lady from my church came along too and she brought her niece who is around 8 or 9. And I knew that Victoria ( the little niece) might not be saved. So I began praying for her salvation.
And you have to understand that when working in the kitchen at camp there is A LOT of time for prayer!
When we stand there cutting melon after melon or opening can after can of fruit it gets very mundane and boring and really it is just a blessing because that gives us time with God to plead with Him on behalf of all the hearts and souls that come in and out of camp each week, and who sit under the preaching and teaching of the word.

So I began praying everyday for Victoria. And it was Thursday of family camp that I came out of the kitchen and sat with my family to eat. Thomas was sitting next to me and he turns to me with a huge grin on his face and says " Bethany ask Victoria what happened?"

Turning my face I look at Victoria who was sitting across from me, and ask
" What happened Tori?"
Being a shy girl she would not answer so Thomas spoke for her and said " Tori got saved" and I wish I had a picture to post on here to show you the pure joy on the face of this young believer at the salvation of another. He was just elated by the fact that Tori had accepted Christ. I too was excited but must admit that I was blown away again by the fact that God had worked in her life.
I was again surprised!! Again it just shows that I was not fully trusting God to work and when He did I was awestruck and had to ask forgiveness for not trusting Him more fully.

I had been praying that God would help me to rely more on Him and that He would increase my faith and this summer He truly has!! In the big ways ( Cousins heart attack) and small ways ( answered prayer of salvation). He has taught me this summer that I need to pray for rain with the umbrella up!!!

He has said that He would answer why do I fail to trust that??

Matthew 7:7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

John 15:7
"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you."

A note to my parents for their 25th!

It all started along time ago…Adam was alone….everyone had a mate, the bears…the lions…why even the wart-hogs and skunks had a wife for goodness sake! But not Adam. From the passage it appears that Adam really did not take too much thought to it, but God did, and aren’t we thankful!

God designed us in such a way that we need others to support us to help us along,

“And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” Gen. 2:18

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.  ¹⁰ For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, and hath not another to lift him up.” Ecc. 4:9-10
And so God made Adam take a nap…bummer thought that was only for two year olds!! Lol!Anyways, and He made Eve out of Adam’s rib and that was the first marriage! And a billion marriages later, God being the best matchmaker, had  a match in mind…and on a little Bible college campus in Iowa, He brought together two servant’s of His.
What dreams they must have had! What plans! They met and dated, worked at a camp together, and then he popped the big question, the one that most every young lady longs to hear. And on the 14^th of June, they were married at her home church. Little did they know what lay ahead for them!
It has not been a bed of roses, but they have always made the best of it! They struggled, they ran hard, they served, they lead those around them, they have strived for Christ, and persevered!
They have served in three different churches, moved more than five times! And probably the best part, they had seven children!
Now I am not here to claim that my parent’s marriage has been perfect! No one is perfect…so therefore we would all agree that no marriage…no family is perfect, so I am not going to say that "my Parent’s are perfect," or even that they "come as close to perfect as this side of heaven you can be." But I will say that they are perfect for me!!

God is so amazing in that He always knows what is the very best for us, even down to the minor details such as who should be our parents, and because Sherrill and Jeff Duffy are my parents they are therefore the BEST parents for me! None other would do, because those two very special people were the very people God picked to be my parents!

Therefore I can wish for none other!! So I wanted to begin this note by stating that my mother is not perfect, but that she is perfect for me, and neither would I say that my father is perfect, but he is perfect for  me. And I praise God that He chose her for me and me for her!!

You see God had it all planned out before I was born! He knew EXACTLY what it would take to bring me to Himself! He knew that it would take me being raised by a certain Jeff and Sherrill, none other would do! It is so amazing for me to stand back and reflect on all the little details of my life and see the sovereignty of God! He is so amazing, so far above me! I am so insignificant... nothing to note... nothing for the very God of Heaven the very creator to even look on let alone smile on! And yet He stoops down and notices little and awfully sinful me! And He not only notices me but knows me better than I know myself!! I like David am compelled to say

"When I consider your heavens,

       the work of your fingers,

       the moon and the stars,

       which you have set in place,

  what is man that you are mindful of him,

       the son of man that you care for him?" Psalm 8:3-4

Krista was my parents first child, and she was a perfect fit for them ( again God's sovereignty must be noted here:). She was so good, all they had to do when her sinful nature reared its ugly head was to give a stern look (just one) and she would start crying and stop whatever sinful action she was taking.

MY parents were just young pups then (in fact my dad was my age exactly!!! Hard to believe it!).

Anyway they were really young and my dad was still in college when Krista was born. So when I was born I can almost bet that they were expecting me to be just the same way as Krista! But boy were they wrong!! God must have a sense of humor, for He really through them a curve ball in giving them me!

Krista and I are as different as night and day! Where she was good and sweet, I was mischievous and a tyrant! It took a lot of force to get me to do what they easliy got Krista to do! So I can only imagine how hard it must have been for my parents! And yet I always remember them having great patience with me! Oh yes I tested their waters, I tried their wills, but somehow they always managed to keep those waters calm and peaceful, their wills above mine.

Then Joe came, their first and precious son.  A real chip off the old block he was (still is). So much like dad it’s scary sometimes! And What patience they had with him as well. with his countless window breakings, and boyish antics of catching frogs and bugs and the like, and all the trouble we got into together. Those were good times huh Joe?

And to think that they thought they were  to be the parents of only three!

 But as Joseph left toddler age and went into a young child my mom yearned for yet another. I remember when she told us she was pregnant, we were elated! For by this time we were old enough to understand (I was only three when Joe was born, so I really did not remember it).

Her and dad called us into his office at Fellowship Baptist in Des, Moines where he was the associate pastor at the time. And she showed us the test, Krista always having been interested in babies knew exactly what those lines meant, I was confused as was Joe, but after some explanation the room filled with our screams of joy as we jumped up and down. Dad of course in his usual manner looked on with joy.

But that happiness was cut short, as we lost that precious babe. Long about December we had a visit to the doctor and no heart beat could be heard. Little Joshy had gotten the cord wrapped around his kneck and he passed away before we could see his beautiful face. But one thing we know he will never stray from his Lord for he is always at his side in heaven!

For awhile we took time to heal from that. We were all so excited and then had our hopes cut short. But God knew exactly what He was doing and He had perfect reasons as to calling Joshua home, and I would not have it any other way.

Mom got pregnant once again, this time we were excited yes, but there was that unsaid apprehension of if we would lose this one two. But God in His matchless grace granted to us Andrew. The precious miracle boy was a wonderful delight to us all, but especially Joe, for now he had a brother…no more the only boy!

The next two years were honestly some of the craziest years of our lives! Little did we know that when mom and dad said “four no more” that God would throw us a couple curve balls! Funny how we think we have things figured out then God says “Nuh-uh!”

Just fourteen months after little Drew was born, Caleb came into the world! And he was a mama’s boy from the start. Dad held him first and he cried and cried until he was in mama’s arms then all crying ceased, and to this day he is not ashamed to admit that mama still is really the only one who can calm him!

Then shortly after Caleb God surprised us again with the blessing of another little girl! Our precious Breanna was born! She has been full of life right from the start!

Boy were those some crazy years weren’t they mom and dad? Three small children… A new pastorate job and church to get used to…the countless diapers…bottles…tussles…sleepless nights! It truly was crazy! But somehow you corralled all us kids and kept your marriage together! Homeschooling us, cooking for us, providing for us!  How you two kept it together, I do not know!

So here’s to you mom and dad! Thankyou for reflecting Jesus Christ! Thankyou for faithfully rearing our heart towards Him! Thankyou for your faithfulness to each other…to God…to your children…to your church! Thankyou for showing God’s grace in your lives!

Thankyou for being the precious parents of:

Krista Michelle (Tee)

Bethany Renae (Boobopper)

Joseph Aaron   (Pud)

Joshua              (Heavenly child)

Andrew Levi ( Rubber Duck)

Caleb Scott      (Drool Bucket/mama’s boy)

Breanna Kae    (Pooka Butt/ nana)

WE ALL LOVE YOU and congratulate you!!

PS. Almost forgot your last two children Zoe Rose and Jackson, they love you too I suppose! J

Prodigal daughter

Luke 15 is a passage of scripture that never fails to bring tears to my eyes!
Whenever I read it I am reminded of the time when I, like the prodigal left not only my heavenly Father but my earthly parents as well! It was a year ago today that I ended a relationship with a young man. This day therefore forever marks a day of independance for me and a freeing from an idol. And all because God pursues the sinner!
This relationship with the young man had cause me to drift away from my parents, and more importantly from my Heavenly Father. And in a sense I myself changed and became a different person.

A common question frequently asked by my dad during that time would be " where is our Bethy?" Or " you have changed and not for the better."
I esp. hated these questions and statements at the time cause i did not want to admit that i had allowed myself to change! All they cared about was getting me back, and all i wanted was to get away!

My parents like the prodigals sons' Father are here to protect and shelter me,
instead i ran out from under their umbrella, wanting to be free. Instead i was greeted by a cold
rain and no protection from it. And i know in that time i caused them great grief and pain! And to those of you who think that " to have your own way" or to "be free from parents and authority" would be just the best thing to ever happen to you, I can tell you that i have been there and it is def. not worth it to go that road. Yeah like the prodigal it might be fun for a while but eventually the rain comes and there will be no umbrella above your head to protect you! This just goes as a warning, don't go that road! It is a LONG road to get back where you started from and some of the damages caused cannot be changed!

When i finally did come back to my parents odd thing as it sounds they welcomed me, though i did not deserve it, back into their arms! Twice now i have betrayed my parents and done my own thing and ultimately i betrayed my Father in heaven! But ALL have accepted me back with open arms!
I live with the guilt and consequences of this everyday! But my parents happy faces and genuine love to have me back always remind me that in their eyes i am forgiven and the reminder that God has also forgiven me is brought to mind everyday!!

Probably out of all my siblings regrettably i have caused the most pain to my parents and yet here they are still loving me and just happy to have their "Bethy" back!
As i read the parable of the lost son i am reminded of my redemption! And not only from my sins that are noticeable and huge, but also the daily sins. I am a "daily Prodigal" that Daily must be brought back to my Father in heaven.

So as you read the Prodigal son be thankful for your Father in Heaven who is able and does forgive sin! Though we sin against Him terribly He still stretches His arms wide and pours
His mercy daily on us all ( "For His mercies are new every morning")!
And be thankful to the LORD if you like me have had a wonderful example of Our forgiving heavenly Father lived out here on earth through your parents or the people around you! I am so thankful for the work of my Heavenly Father in this Prodigal Daughter of His!

The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons.

12 The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

13 "Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.

14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.

15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.

16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!

18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.

19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.'

20 So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21" The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son."

22 "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.

24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

I looked up the definition of the word "Prodigal" in the noun sense and it means: one who has returned after an absence! WOW! This sounds like not only something that I have done a few times but something that I know I do every time I sin thus everyday of my life!

When He joyfully carried me home!

 "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.- Luke 15:4-7
 
Luke 15 is my FAVORITE passage in scripture ( often brings tears to my eyes when I read it), for many reasons but probably because of the wayward child that I am and have been and for the truths that this brings out about the Savior who loves wandering children like me!
I have wandered so much and so far from God at different times in my life, and have even been closed to His working in one area even here
lately and just last night have surrendered that part of my life to Him! Praise be to Jehovah for His work in this prodigal daughter of His!
 
"Father, like a dumb sheep I have strayed from your fold time and again to find "greener pastures" because I thought yours were not good enough (Psalm 23). Only to find that there is nothing out there apart from you! I was lost and alone, hurt and afraid, and marred from stumbling into sin, ( in terrible need of a bath :)  EACH time your found me. Thankyou for not choosing to let me continue to wander, hoping  that someday I would return, thank you for getting up and for coming and searching for me: "Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it" You are the GOOD SHEPERD!!
 
 Thankyou for not grudgingly accepting me back, but thankyou for JOYFULLY placing me on your shoulders to carry me back to the fold to be in fellowship with you "And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home." Word cannot express my gratitude to you!
Thank you for this reminder today it is what I needed!" - Love your prodigal sheep :)
 
I was randomly searching Bible gateway ( great website to use for copying and pasting scripture...handy for emails and status :)
Anyways I was searching for John 15:5, but entered in Luke 15:5 and read about how Jesus JOYFULLY places the sheep on His shoulders
and it just really struck me! I mean I were a shepherd and I had a sheep  wander off, especially at night, and this sheep kept doing that time and again, and was injuring itself and getting itself stuck, yeah maybe the first time I would be happy about finding it, but certainly not the 2nd.....3rd...5th..etc. times!
 
But what a wonderful assurance to know that each time I have strayed and will stray, Jesus will ALWAYS first seek me out, find me and get me out of the mess I get myself into and then will  JOYFULLY place me on His shoulders and draw me back to the fold!!
 
I am so thankful for my  JOYFUL Shepherd, should I not reflect Him today and joyfully help others as well?
This should affect the way I respond to others! Christ is the model that has been set before me to follow! I need to have paitence and mercy for the wandering sheep I come into contact with today and everyday!