The very fact that anyone was ever conceived is a miracle! I
had once always thought that conception was easy, I mean after all it happens
ALL THE TIME! I mean if you are reading this, obviously it has happened (lol).
But after reading some books and reading online I have come
to the conclusion that the very fact that we exist is a miracle!
And not just because of the awesome and wonder of
conception, but also because of how many things are working against us from the
very outset. I’m obviously not going to go into grave detail about this (you
can do that for yourself) but I will say this much, a woman’s body resists
conception, there are many problems that both the man and the woman may have,
and couple all that with the fact that it has to take place at just a certain
little window of time.
The very fact that any of us are here is a miracle! Not to
mention all the complications that can happen in the pregnancy journey and
birth itself! Puts a WHOLE new perspective on the truth that children are a
GIFT from GOD huh?!
Thus I have come to this conclusion: every person born is
born because GOD had it in HIS plan, for as much as we like to think that “we
did it,” we did nothing really! Even in conception (just like evangelism) all
we do is “plant and water.” Tis GOD who brings the increase (for both physical
and spiritual birth!)
Little baby Farrell was a bit of a surprise to Josh and
myself. Not planned by us but given to us from God! As many of you know from
many of my previous notes I have struggled with the sin of an eating disorder
since I was sixteen or so.
Last summer (2012) it
was really bad. I purposed in my heart to run from the Lord, to do my own
thing.
Though I was serving Him at a Christian camp alongside
strong and faithful Christians, my heart was FAR from Him! I remember people
coming alongside of me and trying to help me. One of the things that I often
heard from them was the warning that there was a possibility that I may never
ever have children…and honestly that began to scare me.
Here I was looking forward to my wedding in just a few short
months and weeks. My sister was already expecting Sophia, and now I faced the
fear that possibly my sin was going to catch up to me in the worst way! I cried
at times at night in the dark of my bunk, begging God to have mercy on me. All
I feared though was the consequences, not the sin itself. Not yet, I wasn’t
ready to surrender fully and for the right reasons.
But by the end of camp my Faithful God who never lets me go,
kept pursuing me. I finally surrendered at Sr. High camp not even during a
message but during the song service!
It has been a slow go
since then, with ups and downs, but I know God and He will never give up on me
and He will give me the strength to keep changing.
When I returned from camp for my wedding I weighed about
eighty six or eighty seven pounds. It was bad I know. I had to go to the
“special doctor” to get things figured out. I honestly thought that I was going
to be punished by the Lord with infertility…it’s what I deserved.
I remember that I started to pray (even several times a day)
that God would one day (in His time) allow me to conceive and bear a child. I
begged Him for His mercy and grace. I knew I didn’t deserve a child for what I
had done, but I asked still.
Turns out in God’s wonderful and matchless mercy and grace
He has given Josh and I a child. Not exactly in the timing we had thought, but
how thankful we are to Him!
What a small picture of mercy and grace.
The BIG scope of things however, is that Christ died! WE
don’t deserve to be saved, don’t deserve freedom from sin, to be called the
children of God, to have access to His throne, to be cleansed, to have a “New
Home”, to have Christ’s righteousness, to be freed from Satan’s power, to have
the Holy Spirit…I think you get the idea…YET WE DO!
PRAISE GOD for His mercy and grace and for His love that
drives Him to that mercy and grace! WE have SO much that we do not deserve! Of
all people we should be MOST JOYFUL! Choose JOY for Christ’s MERCY and GRACE!
Remember also that every life is a miracle and was planned
by God, we may plant and water but HE brings the increase (both spiritually and
physically) so let’s stop taking the credit that belongs to the Creator alone!
Puts a whole new perspective on the people that we have a
hard time getting along with huh? EVERY PERSON is here for a reason, and
survived conception and birth (though there were a TON of odds working against
them) all because GOD ALLOWED THEM TO!
Be thankful for life, the abundant and joyful life God has
given!
