We have what we have to give Part 2

Also another thought in this whole deal, is that I discovered a lot of areas where I struggle and really where I fail: such as really getting to know people…being an introvert it is so hard to branch out and really find out and discover people, thus this inhibits my counseling because I would say a HUGE majority of counseling is just KNOWING people! Another area where I fail is in not asking the right qs so that people will be more likely to open up. I also fail in stepping forward and asking the hard questions.

And I also failed in being “loving” in tangible ways that others can see.

                            

You see the love languages are great in defining how we show love, and in helping us to know where we are at…but you see it cant stop there! We cant just learn what our love language is and say “yep that’s it” and allow that to define us. We never are called to just know where we are at and sit there in that same position. We are ALWAYS called to strive HIGHER!

God made love languages to spice things up, I mean come on how difficult is it when a husband keeps trying to show love to his wife in his love language instead of hers…and vice versa…it creates a lot of problems!  But more importantly He made them to create an opportunity to grow! An opportunity for us selfish and sinful and depraved humans to buck up and be used of Him to love another in the a SELFLESS way, in the way that is not our love language… “our own interest” ( Like Phil.2:4 talks about) but in a selfless way that calls for sacrifice (like 1 cor. 13 talks about).

Folks real love, is not comfortable…real love is NOT easy…real love is not usually shown in our preferred way of showing love (love language) REAL LOVE is outside of our box….outside of our comfort zones! Real love requires a sacrifice!

And my struggle in this whole failure at sr. high camp…was to wallow in my shortcomings and was to just say “well I guess this is just who I am…and I guess there is no hope.”

But the moment we do that folks is the moment we cut the ties to a hope of rising above our struggles! The only way to overcome is to pick urself back up and entrust yourself to the power and strength of God (for we can do nothing on our own) and to aim higher!

So where are you at friend? Have you made something about you that wasn’t? Repent of that! Turn back to God and place your focus upward (to God) and outward to others! Realize that NOTHING you have ends with you, but rather you have what you have so that you may be able to give to those who have of need!

Or friend are you struggling with showing love in a different love language. Have you been selfish in the ways you show love. Remember real love requires a sacrifice…I mean look at God and His Son Jesus Christ…it cost them EVERYHTING! Don’t allow your love language to define you! Branch out, try all the other love languages God has made! Don’t favor one, like a parent does one of his children, rather branch out and use them all! Sacrifice requires us branching out of our “normal” our comfort zone, our favored way of showing love (love language). I believe God meant for us to learn to USE ALL of the LOVE languages not just one!

Or are you wallowing in a failure of yours (whether recent or past) realize that God has forgiven you and has given you a second chance! Take it, pick yourself up and in His strength aim higher! The moment you wallow in your falls is the moment you cut the ties to be able to rise in forgiveness! Accept the forgiveness and mercy of God, it IS ENOUGH!

I pray this was an encouragement friends!

We have what we have to give Part 1

Ever find yourself making something that is totally not even about you, all about you? Or have you ever known someone like that? Where you say something totally not even remotely about them or do something and they take it the wrong way and make what was not about them, all about them. Any moment we make  about ourselves is a moment where we sin, any words that we make about ourselves is a moment where we have become selfishly focused on ourselves.

And the worst thing is when one is in the position of ministry, and they begin to make it about themselves.

There I was, it was the weekend before Sr. High week at RRBC, I was at home relaxing and enjoying time with the three Js of my life: Jesus, Joshy, and Jacksie and of course my family! But I knew that the time would come where I would have to go back to the work at RRBC, back to counseling…only this time it would be very different. We knew from the git go that it was going to be a “big” week (for RRBC anyways), over 80 people had signed up and we were expecting to have a few just show up, and while we were praising the Lord for that…on the inside a fear (at least for me this was true) was creaping its way through my whole being.

I mean here I am 5’5” (or so), and I knew that many of these girls would be taller than I in height…I barely look my age…and I have a very hard time connecting with girls at this stage in their life. And on top of all that I felt SO inadequate to counsel these ladies, esp. since I had NO IDEA what I might face! Many teens in this world today come from broken homes and some terrible situations that some adults cannot even begin to fathom let alone face! I knew it was going to be an interesting week.

And as it turns out…I failed left and right that week!

I have a very difficult time with showing love in the physical touch kind of way. I show my love more by doing things for people…I love serving people and that is often the way that my love is shown forth…I really really struggle with showing love in a “huggy” kinda way. My sister however was created by God much differently!

I often wish that I had been created that same way, for she is so outgoing, she can strike up a conversation with anyone, and she also demonstrates love through touch very well. And I have always struggled in this area, and I also struggle with trying to get to know people, I struggle with trying to connect with people and get to know them since I am often more of an introvert. And thus I failed to connect with my girls that week.

It was awful and hard to suddenly realize just how inadequate I was! I totally blew that thing! And what made it worse was I made something that was not about me, all about me! Instead of looking at myself honestly and realizing “Hey I have got some things I need to work on” and then getting up and trying to do better,. I instead wallowed in my failures and made something that was not about me, all about me!

It was Thursday evening, and 3 of my eight girls were struggling that night. The message that had been delivered by God through the speaker had been powerful and convicting, and I call it the “crying night” because there were SO many girls crying! Left and right, everywhere you turn there was crying!

Now those of you who know me well, know that I struggle around crying people…I get uncomfortable and I don’t really know how to handle it (best way to handle it, is to listen and be that presence, that hug ect. For the person).

So as you can imagine I was unsure as to what to do, and I failed a lot that night!

Anyways that evening three of my girls sought “other counsel” besides me…and I sadly and selfishly and WRONGLY made that about me! Can you believe that??!!

A counselor…who is to be the example of selflessness…had gotten so wrapped up in herself  and wallowing in her failures, that she added to her failures: sin!!

I cried for the first time all summer at RRBC that night…not because my camper had accepted Christ….not because I was “weeping with another who weeps”, not because of the sin in my life or in the life of another…not because of a “lost soul”, none of that…I cried because I had made that ministry ALL about me!

And the really awful thing was, I had just helped another counselor in this exact same area…and could not even take my own counsel and apply it!

Another counselor faced this very thing ( campers going to others for counsel instead of her) and I told her that night (this was the night before the “crying night” when my campers would seek counsel from another) Anyways I told her that night: “It really does not mater so much WHO gets to counsel them, but rather THAT they get counseled!”

WOW! And I could not even take my own counsel and live it out! WHAT A SELFISH HYPOCRIT if there ever was one! I admit, I was awful that “cry night”. I mean here I was a counselor…in a leadership position…making things about me that were NEVER about me, because after all it is GOD who gives the increase…and it is GOD’S work through me anyhow (for apart from Him I can do nothing).

I threw myself a pity party that night because God had not allowed me to be the one to minister! God uses whomever He pleases, because it is Him working through us (Eph. 2:20-21).

You see ministry is never ever to be about us…NOTHING for that matter is ever about us! WE have what we have ( possessions…ministry positions…work…money…the gospel itself) not for our benefit alone, not for our usage alone, but so that we can give to those who have of need : Eph 4:28 “Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.”

So you see, nothing (not even ministry opportunities) are ever about us or stop with us! We always have what we have (opportunities..possesions…things and especially the gospel) so that we can give to those who have of need! NOTHING ever ends with us!

Calvary illustrated best!

Blue eyes scan the room for some sort of sign that the audience is grasping what he is saying. His voice flows in and out- not real deep but not high either. Every once in a while, he walks the floor of the stage, to illustrate a point or get our attention. Then he takes his spot back behind the pulpit.

Speaking with such ease, he shows not a single sign of nerves. Talking to a large crowd comes so easy for this man. I wish with all my being that I could be as outgoing as him. He settles easily into a crowd of people, while I stand in a corner wishing to go home. He makes meeting new people and establishing new friends look so natural and fun. While I complain about each new move we have had to make in the last eight years and all the new friends I would have to meet, my father rises to the challenge of meeting new people and making new friends.

I fear the thought of having to be the first to say hello to a new person. Not my father though, he easily makes new acquaintances. Being an extrovert he seems to never have met a stranger. He almost never shies away from an opportunity to talk to someone.
Although we do not act a lot alike, we certainly look similar. The “girl version of Dad” is often how I have heard others refer to me.

My blue eyes and brown hair mirror his. The wretched witch’s nose is something I could have done without, but unfortunately I inherited this from him also. However I must count my blessings because I was bequeathed with thicker hair, I won’t have to worry too much about his receding hair line problem.
Every time I look at Dad I am reminded of years gone by. The hair loss (due to baldness inherited from his grandfather) and the less vibrant color and life in his skin are all reminders that time has flown by and with that things have changed.

Amongst the many changes, there is still one thing that has not changed- the fact that he is my father, my help in time of need, my listening ear, my instructor, the shepherd of my heart.
He has always been a good father, someone I laugh with, cry with, share problems with and have fun with. Some of my fondest memories are times spent with dad, fishing, hiking, bike riding, walking, and playing football and basketball with. He gave me my passion for the outdoors and a love of God’s creation. He also gave me a love for music.

One of my favorite people to sing with is my father. He harmonizes with me so well and has taught me a lot in the area of music. I look forward to every chance I get to sing with him. One time, we even decided to whistle a hymn together at home. I whistled the melody and he backed me up with harmony. Little memories like that are ones I cherish and hope to relive with him again and again; till the Lord comes or calls us home.

He also has been a great spiritual leader. From the time I was young he shepherded my heart towards God. One of the many ways he did this was by encouraging me to do my devotions everyday. He began to teach me the importance of having my time with God alone each day when I was around eight years of age. Because of that I do not struggle to have that time and I enjoy them everyday. He is the reason I now call my siblings best friends instead of just “brother” or “sister.”

For as long as I can remember he would always remind us that we were friends, not just siblings. Whenever we got into a tussle, he would always remind us that we should not hurt our friends and he emphasized the fact that we needed to treat each other as best friends. The reason that all of us siblings refer to each other as friends and see each other as such ( although one could not always tell by how we treat each other) is attributed entirely to our father.

But perhaps the way he impacted me the most was by his illustration of Jesus Christ to me. He did this in many ways (far too many to fit into this paper) but one such way outstands them all.
This opportunity that my dad chose to grab and illustrate Christ to me happened when I was around ten to eleven years old. I had seen pictures of Jesus Christ and heard His story every where but the way my father chose to illustrate it was far more descriptive than any Sunday school story I had heard up to that point. This was neither a painting nor a word picture but rather a combination of circumstance and the message behind it all.

It must have been afternoon time or something, because I can still remember my siblings playing outside and the sun shining through my west window. I had committed a sin (I cannot remember what exactly) and had been told to report to my room for a spanking to be administered by dad. How I hated when he made us wait for our spanking. He did this often; almost every time any of us Duffy children got into trouble we would have to wait for him in either our own bedrooms or his, and those moments that ticked by so slowly were one thing we hated most and I almost could swear that he knew it.

As I sat there on my huge bed that I shared with my sister, my anger began to well up inside of me. When I was younger I was a tyrant. I was awful towards my parents (fortunately it is not as bad as it once was). I was also very stubborn and would sometimes out right defy my parents.
So, as one would imagine, when I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, I already had a plan in my mind as to what I was going to do. In those few seconds before he even darkened my door, I had planned to frustrate him. He had just frustrated me by getting after me and was now about to spank me but I would have none of it.

He walked into the room spatula in hand, and told me to bend over for my consequence. I of course refused, my plan to frustrate already taking motion.
He persisted in asking me time and again, staying ever patient with me, but I was not about to give up. I refused every time he told me to bend over. I even went so far as to defy not only verbally but physically by crawling across the bed to the opposite side of the room. I could and would have played that game all night if he would have it. And I think he must have known that, for in the middle of this back and forth tennis match of words he changed the whole course of the game I thought I had set up and had under control.

He stopped persisting and pulled a new card that I was unfamiliar with, but would forever change the way that I look at Christ.
He coaxed me to the side of the bed he was on, then handed me the spoon. Whoa! Now how many parents would be dumb enough to do that? At first I was taken aback not expecting this at all. I held it in my hand, beginning to giggle.
“Spank me ,Bethany,.” He said.
“No” was my reply of course but I now knew he was not joking.
“Spank me, you have waited too long to receive the punishment yourself, so now you will spank me.” He pressed.

In his eyes I could tell he was not going to give up. That stubborn sheen that often was mine now was mirrored in his eyes. Bethany would not win this battle. And as is my habit no matter what the game is, when I begin to lose I give up.
I gripped the spatula tightly. Giggling so as to cover my emotion, I hit him softly still hoping that it was a joke and that any minute he would turn around and ambush me and grab the spatula and I would receive the punishment due me. But it did not happen. “Harder Bethany.” was his only reply.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I planted the spatula firmly on his hind quarters several times, until he told me to stop. He had taken the punishment that I deserved. I knew I was guilty and deserved a consequence for my action and yet I never had to pay it. My dad took my place he bore the pain due me.

He had paid the price; he was totally innocent and did not deserve that spanking and yet took it for me.
That day was the most vivid picture of Christ that I have ever come into contact with. Christ, just like my dad (at least in that moment), was totally innocent and did not deserve the punishment he received.

But the thing is, they bore that punishment for someone else. They bore it for me. What a picture! And my dad was the one who demonstrated that. God must have put it into his head knowing that I needed it and still am reminded of it even today. I will never forget it; I can still picture it in my mind like it was yesterday. Many people have displayed Christ for me but only one has illustrated it really well for me thus far.

Christ was never as real to me as in that moment. I accepted Christ when I was four and understood what Christ had done. But this illustration was such a great picture that I will never forget and a story that I will tell to better illustrate Christ’s message to my own children and others around me.
One of the parents many responsibilities in the stewarding of their children is to display and show forth the gospel to their children. And I would have to say that for me my dad illustrated this well. I will always be grateful to him for everything he has done but most importantly for shepherding my heart towards Christ and for leading me to a saving knowledge of Him. For illustrating Calvary in such a real and defined way!

This Christmas season my focus will be on what my dad illustrated for me that day.
And that is this, Jesus was born to die that I might live. I deserved the punishment He bore and yet I walk off free without blame without the punishment. All because an Almighty God chose to humble Himself and take on the form of a man and chose to take the punshment due me.

I have so much to be thankful for this Christmas but especially for the birth of Jesus Christ and for His death which made me free! All i had to do is accept the gift and believe! Just like that day with my dad. All i had to do was accept the fact that "dad" was going to take the punishment for me. Not only did my earthly father do this for me but more importantly my Father in heaven did as well!!

He died for us the least we could do would be to LIVE for Him!

God melts the heart of stone!

Ah! Rest time, tis the most wonderful hour of camp ever invented (or at least according to the counselors!! Sorry to all the campers out there!)

My girls were all quietly and contentedly playing with stuffed animals…leaving me time for a much needed short rest…to lay my aching head (heat and a little bit of a challenging week) back and read a little. 

All was calm and well…but my hopes for rest were quickly demolished by a tussle that very quickly broke out amongst the girls.

Rising to my feet I very quickly took care of the outward behavioral side of the tussle.

“Alright everyone into their own bunk for the rest of the time!” I said in a surprisingly calm manner considering the surge of frustration going through me…boy things would be a lot easier if counselors no longer struggled with sin!

Anywho, actually only two girls were involved in a tussle, but I told them all to get into their bunks so that I could think…it was so loud and I just needed time to sort everything out.

So after sending them all to their individual bunks I then went after the girl that had stormed out of our room into the bathroom down the hall…upon meeting her I spoke with her about leaving like she did. Once we returned I sat on my bed in the silence and quiet.

But as I sat there…searching for answers as to handle this tussle (you see I did not quite get what exactly had gone on) and so as I sat there on my bed my mind was racing with thoughts of what exactly I should do next… I knew that I needed to get to their hearts for in every situation esp. tussles, it is crucial to get to the heart of it all not just the outside or  the behavioral side of it all, but to the heart where in reality all things start.

So as I sat there scrambling for words to say to them, I knew what I needed to do. So in desperation I called out to my Father…  “Father, I need answers! I feel as if this is really simple and that I should already have the answers…but Father I don’t! I need you! Please help me to know how to address this…for I do not even exactly understand all that has gone on…help me to get to the heart of this problem! I need wisdom now Father! In Jesus’ name Amen!

And right then, the very second I finished praying I began to think through everything, and the answer of how I should approach this situation came to mind, and I knew exactly what I needed to do. And so I got busy carrying out the help that God gave to me. I pulled the two girls aside away from everyone else, and addressed it.

And the amazing thing is they seemed to get it!

But why did I have to come to that point? Why did I have to come to my “wits end” and then call on God…the theme this year at RRBC is based on prayer and our motto is : “Is prayer your spare tire, or steering wheel.”

And I must confess that quite often it is my spare tire! Too often! I have all the power of heaven to call upon, the Almighty God, the One who created EVERYTHING, and yet I have not because I ask not!

I have to be at my “wits end” before I rely on the Wits of God! Why?? He is SO much greater than I…and I can do NOTHING apart from Him :

John 15:5

“Yes I am the vine, and you are the branches, Those who remain in me and I in them, will produce much fruit (notice not just fruit, but much! And too often I wonder why I am not seeing Him at work…hmm). For apart from Me you can do NOTHING!”

There it is, black and white! Can’t get any more all encompassing than that…apart from Jesus Himself, apart from His work, I can do NOTHING! So why do I so often find myself trying to “go it alone?”

No wonder Paul said “Some plant, some water, BUT GOD (anytime in scripture where it says BUT GOD, it is ALWAYS AMAZING and CRUCIAL!! WOW! Think about it…the Word is going along your reading your reading…and then BAM it hits you : BUT GOD!...and this folks has been another “random bunny trail” with Bethy…thankyou!)

So this incident where prayer was my spare tire was about week 3. Week 4 I thought prayer had finally become my steering wheel…I mean I prayed everyday! I even prayed whenever an arrow (yeah I know…they should never have let me be in charge of archery! EVER! Lol) went missing, because again “Apart from Him, I can do NOTHING” (not even finding that missing arrow).

And truly I was relying on Him! And it was a good thing that I had learned my lesson because that week was probably one of the hardest weeks of my summer! It was Jr. High!!! AAHH! Nightmare waiting to happen! I mean you have a ton of these homosapiens who are not quite children…not quite teens…and thus one minute they are that sweet little school child…the next minute they are trying to be older than they are…and then another minute they are awkwardly stuck in the middle…uugh! It hurts to watch folks! Jj jk lol! I loved them!!

Anyway, it truly was a harder week…to go from jrs to jr. highers is quite the jump…weird but it is!

Anyway, that week a very odd spiritual fog (which is the only way to describe it) had settled over the camp. I don’t know about anyone else that was there, but literally I could feel the apathy..everytime I set foot in chapel and the speakers started speaking…everytime I opened up my Bible to try and share from the Word I felt as if it was all falling on apathetic and tuned out ears.

Many of them have been “churched” their whole lives…by now they know the answers…they know what to say to get the speaker… teacher…counselor off their back…and they really don’t care anymore. And maybe that was just a “feeling” that Satan had put in my heart that week…either way whether imagined or real, I was discouraged, and was calling out daily for the Lord to work in and through me despite myself.

I asked that He use all of us to water and plant and that He would bring an increase. And the amazing thing was HE DID! And why was I surprised?? Because I had prayed expecting to most likely not actually be able to witness the answer. I thought that the answer to that prayer would come later down the road in the kids’ lives when I would not be there to behold it and I was totally fine with that, perhaps it will still, but I do know that some were changed and I was privileged and blessed to see some of that!

One of my campers was having doubts about her salvation, and so after much prayer and sharing the gospel with her a couple of times, finally on Friday night (the last speaking session) she got reassurance of her salvation! PRAISE HIM! It was not me! I banged that job up so bad! I totally missed the ball, but God still worked!

WOW! It was so cool to hear her pray, and say “I believe God! I believe that you died!”

She was so sincere!

And it was so cool cuz I usually ask one of my campers to pray before bed and that last night two of them volunteered (where as all week everyone shyed away from it) and one of them was Morgan (the one who got reassurance) and it was so neat to hear her pray and thank God for the reassurance she got!

God is amazing!

And not only did He work in Morgan, but He also worked in another little boy named Philip.

I had the wonderful privilidge of being in charge of Archery all my weeks of camp (I know I still can believe they let me!). And this one young boy would always come at least once or twice a day, his name is Philip. And I liked Philip because he is really small for his age and really short, he reminded me of my brother Andrew, so it was always great to see him. But as I watched him, he seemed to have that same apathetic spirit that seemed so common that week (again perhaps it was just imagined), and there also seemed to be a hardness of heart within him.

And so as the week went on I kept begging God to do a work, to melt the hearts of stone that seem so prevalent and common place. On Friday during the morning time I was alone running archery, and Philip was there. And it was just him, so I decided to seize the moment, and began asking him what if he liked the morning and evening speakers.

He said that he did, but that he especially liked the missionary hour.

I must admit that I half expected him to either blow me off or to continue shooting and not answer me. So I pressed further with that.

“Well Philip maybe someday you will be a missionary.”

He turned and looked me square in the eye and said “I can’t I am too short!”

I was taken aback by that, and was instantly reminded of Moses and how he argued with God about not being a good enough speaker. Course it would have taken too long to share that whole story with him, so I took a different approach.

“Well God can use anyone Philip! It does not matter what size you are! What if He called you to be a missionary, would you go?”

Now I can’t remember exactly what he said, I do know that he did not say “yes” I think he just said “God would not call me!” And at that very moment another girl came up to shoot, and thus I was not able to take anymore. But I was so thankful for the chance to challenge his thinking.

After that I thought nothing of

it…that was the end of that in my mind. But God was not done!

The next day after breakfast I was heading back to my cabin to help my girls pack up to leave. The sun was shining so brightly and warmly and I was just casually walking along enjoying God’s good earth and the good morning and reveling in the wonderful gift of salvation because the night before was when one of my campers had gotten reassurance of her salvation.

Anyways as I was reveling in all that, suddenly I heard a voice behind me “Hey! Would you be a missionary if God called you?” What a pointed question!?? What a bold one!

I turned around and squinted through the bright sun, and there was little blonde haired Philip, he wanted to know if I was even willing to do what I had challenged him to do and rightly so!

“Well yes, yes Philip if the Lord calls me I will!”

“Well how can we know if he calls?”

“Well Philip, He will give us a burden and a desire for what He wants us to do and where He will have us to go.”

“That’s neat” (wow and remember this is coming from a seemingly hard hearted child…I mean I never saw him smile, except when we were talking just then, I am guessing that due to his small size he must be picked on a lot.)

“We just need to be telling others about God!”

“You are exactly right Philip!”

And we parted ways, it truly was a blessing to my heart to see God take this little guy, and work his heart over to where he was ready to serve God now, so that he would be able to serve God later…many adults don’t even get this concept! WOW!

What I thought were hearts that were “far gone” were actually melted and brought near! God is amazing!

And maybe you are like me, maybe there are those in your life who just have hard hearts…and apathy and just seem so far gone nothing could bring them back….know this friend that God NEVER gives up on people! There are no “lost causes” for God!

And dear friend He asks us to reflect His faithfulness! So keep watering…keep planting! God is awesome and HE WILL BRING INCREASE!

Entrust everyone to the One who not only sees hearts (1 Samuel 16:7) but also has the power to fashion them toward Himself : PS. 33:15 “He fashions their hearts individually (He is a very personal God) He considers ALL their works!”

Keep going, do not lose heart for in due time you will reap a harvest! Do not grow weary while doing good! God is not mocked and His Word NEVER  returns void Gal. 6:7: “Don’t be misled-you cannot mock the justice of God, you will always harvest what you plant!”

You have questions, God has answers!

Ever found yourself scrambling for answers? Maybe it was for that math test that you should have studied for, but instead played video games (if you are a guy) or talking with a friend (if you are a girl) all night long, and now find yourself with NO HELP, no book, no answers for the gazillion and one problems on the sheet of paper in front of you...your mind is shot and totally blank…you have nothing to pull from!

The amazing thing is that in the “test” of life, we don’t have to worry about having to go through it with “no book…no answers” (at least not here in America) because we have at least one (if not many!) copies of the BOOK of Books God’s Word ( guide to a life that glorifies Him!).

And even when we don’t have the actual Word, we have it memorized, and besides that we have God Himself, in the Spirit dwelling inside us, Who is ready at a moments notice (strike that He don’t even need a notice!) to give us the answers we are so desperately grasping for!

There I was the first night of the 2nd week of camp. It was my second week of jrs. So I expected it to be like the first…they know all the answers, they are “Sunday school robots” (as I like to refer to them). They don’t have too many qs about the Bible, they have it together.

But boy was I wrong! That first night of devos, I decided to do something I had never done (must have been a “God thing” for sure…and boy was I in for a surprise!)

I opened it up for questions…and WOWZERS was I ever blown away!! I mean here I am, a Bible college student…and they totally bring in the heat! They asked questions like:

“Why did God make Adam and Eve, knowing that they would sin?”

“Why does God allow Satan to tempt us?”

“How did God always exist?”

“Why does God no longer speak audibly?”

“Why did God choose to die for us?”

I took each question and carefully did my best to answer:

-“Because He wanted companionship and knew that one day there would be a solution to that sin= Jesus Christ!” (Genesis 3)

-“So that we can grow and to test us” (James 1)

-“We have a hard time comprehending God’s eternal existence because we all had a beginning…it is all we have ever known and it is thus very hard for us to fathom anything different!”

-“He no longer speaks audibly because we have everything we will ever need to know in His Word! He spoke audibly back when because they did not have all of scripture yet, nor Jesus Christ.”

-“To be put very simply because He loved us” John 3:16

Now obviously I did not use all of those exact words because they are so young and would not understand…so I did my best to take the “high things” and to bring them low enough for them to understand. And I obviously I also went into a little greater detail…that is just the “jist” of the answer that I gave.

But ultimately I just told them that our thoughts are not God’s thoughts! His ways are so much higher than ours and even the things that we do know we only know because of Him! There are something’s that we will never fully understand or know until heaven, but that is where we need to humble ourselves and accept God at His Word!

Satan can use our pride in this area, and get us to doubt God, and while it is great to think about and while these questions, there eventually comes a point where we just have to take God at His Word!

And to be quite honest, I could never have answered those questions in my own mind….my own understanding and strength….but the awesome thing is I did not have to nor do I ever have to! Yes God’s thoughts are higher than ours, but the cool thing is we can call on that God whose thoughts are higher and He ANSWERS!! WOW! What power we have at our disposal! What wisdom! No wonder Solomon says “in all your getting, get wisdom!”

So what do you do when you are asked a Q you are not ready to answer? Call on HIM!! You have questions….HE HAS THE ANSWER everytime! The knowledge you have now to even breathe and keep on living, you could not have apart from Him, so why do we try to go that “math test” just in our own wisdom? Why do we try to answer those hard questions with our own opinion?

I don’t even know!

The still small voice

We come expecting God to speak loud and clear…expecting a Him to speak through a “fire and brimstone” message…through something so loud and clear we can’t miss it!

Like a big boulder in the middle of the interstate when were going 80 miles per hour and hit it head on…that’s what we often expect when it comes to Gods warnings.

You know those times you are stuck in sin…and you know it…you are just waiting…waiting for that “lightening bolt” from heaven to come shooting out of the sky and shock you clear down to your toes and out of your apathetic attitude…but what about when it never comes…or at least not “that way”…what if it came and you already missed it??!! What then?

What about when He does not speak through the fire…or the thunder… or the earthquake…what if He goes totally against what where we think He is going…goes totally against what we thought He was doing or going to do?

What if He speaks through that “still small voice”, will we hear it? I mean after all we often expect the BOOM…but if it was a whisper…would we hear it?

And I am sure that ya’ll know exactly where I am going…you say “Oh Bethany you are gonna take us to 1 Kings 19,or maybe you forgot the exact place in scripture and thus you would say “you are taking us to the account of Elijah when he was on the mount and Jehovah Almighty passed by Elijah, but God was not in any of the “LOUD” things but instead it was the still small voice.
But before you tune this totally out, remember that it really matters not how many times you have read this…or how much “biblical knowledge” you have or how much Hebrew and Greek you know…none of that really matters at ALL to God but rather, that He speaks to you, and that you apply it! It does not matter how many times you have been through the Bible, but rather how many times it has been through you!! APPLICATION (how your life fits into scripture…what that looks like in real life) is EVERYTHING TO GOD (James 1, and also the parable of the sower!  Remember God’s Word iswritten to you specifically…
And now folks we shall have a “Random bunny trail” with Bethy:
every time you open God’s Word HE SPEAKS TO YOU and it is WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO HEAR! Don’t lose sight of this fact, for the day you do is the day you stop growing…tis the day that church becomes just another “entertainment”…tis the day that Pastor’s sermons no longer “speak” to you, you could have the most BORING and dull and dry pastors speak to you…but the moment that he reads the Word directly GOD SPEAKS! And thus you CAN GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT!! Now that is not to say that if your pastor speaks his opinion that you will learn and grow…it is when he reads GOD’S WORD!
And this has been a “Random bunny trail” moment with bethy ;0) Smiles!

Anywho before you shut down and go into “auto pilot” remember that anytime you read the WORD GOD SPEAKS! : 1 Kings 19:9-13
 ⁹ “And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of Jehovah came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?
 ¹⁰ And he said, I have been very jealous for Jehovah, the God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword: and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.
 ¹¹ And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before Jehovah. And, behold, Jehovah passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before Jehovah; but Jehovah was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but Jehovah was not in the earthquake:
 ¹² and after the earthquake a fire; but Jehovah was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
 ¹³ And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entrance of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?”
 So it was not as what we would expect…we would expect the Almighty Most Powerful and Holy God, creator of heaven and earth to speak LOUD and CLEAR…with a display of might…but are left shocked that He spoke through that still (notice not a rushed thing..so unlike the way we often speak to others every day) small (not large..like He is) voice (not thunder…not the earthquake..but a voice just like you and I).
Remember the first time you read this passage… or had it read to you, like in Sunday school for those of you who have been “churched” your whole life. Remember what your first thoughts were? If you are anything like me you were like “Seriously?? I can’t believe that God was not in the thunder…or the earth quake…are you sure miss teacher that you got that right? Are you sure you are talking about THE GOD…the I AM? Because that’s my God and He is HUGE and I just don’t see Him choosing such a small way to speak..”
And often if truth be told…I do the same thing in reality! In fact here recently I fell back into some sin…and I knew I was headed the wrong way… knew that I was running…and if you know me well enough you are sitting there thinking… “Wait…Bethany! Were’nt you a counselor at a camp??!! Leading girls spiritually…and here you tell me that you were “in sin”??? Why would you do that?”

And the answer is yes I was counseling, but the amazing thing is God uses sinful people to get a hold of other sinful people! He uses those needing to be redeemed…to help bring others needing to be redeemed to Himself! He uses us despite ourselves! Anyway…here I was sliding back into a sin that I have struggled with for a LONG time…since I was 16 or 17…I have fallen in and out of the “outward” behavior of it, but it has been in my heart for the whole time. And to be quite honest its still there today, it is a daily struggle…sometimes even moment to moment.
Those of you who know me well…or who have read my blog know that I have struggled with the sin of an eating disorder (mis directed worship..pride…but you can read all about that in the note on here entitled “My sercret: or so I thought!”)
Anyways and this was the sin I was sliding so quickly back into…and I knew it. And I was expecting God to speak to me through something HUGE! But how He ended up getting a hold of me was far from HUGE!
Now before you stop reading and quit associating with me because I have gone “charismatic” on you… I want you to know that what I am about to tell you will not be some outrageous and ridiculous story about God speaking to me audibly from heaven. It was not that…your safe I promise! Anyway…

There I was at my home church after a long and trying week of counseling Jr. Highers. I had just finished packing up my dads computer and had crossed over to listen in on a conversation that a lady was having with my mother and another lady about all the struggles she was going through (health related) lately.
And as I stood there listening my heart went out to her, and I was burdened…but what happened next I was not expecting. As I stood there, I suddenly felt a very small arm wrap around my waist, and as I turned to look who was next to me, I was surprised to look into the face of June!
Now June is a frail older lady, she can barely hear anymore, and has been more faithful in coming to church since her husband passed away it has freed her up to come. And she always greets people…and tries her best to conversate although it is very very difficult with her hearing. Anyway she has NO idea whatsoever of my past…she does not know my struggle, so of course what she said next shocked me and rocked my boat.

“Honey” She says “You are getting awfully skinny…you are not trying to are you? I hope not”

I hesistated for a slit second…cleared my throat and threw on a smile ….you know the one that you throw on after you stole another cookie when you were only supposed to have one and mom asks “did you have another cookie.”
“No June, I am not trying.” I chuckled and the heat rushed to my face as I had just told a lie to the sweetest lady I know.
“Well good because we don’t want you wasting away to nothing…and what if you fell ill, where would you get the strength to fight?”
And that was it. She went on to ask about my sister in Kentucky. And then we parted ways. I with guilt…her not even knowing that she had just been greatly IMMENSLY used of the Almighty God!
And you are probably thinking…”That was so short!” And my reply is yeah that was! Short, sweet, and to the point…so easily to be missed! Oh how easy it would have been to just have that fly by my face and not even take note! But it stopped me in my tracks!
God had spoken! What was just “small talk” with the Pastor’s daughter on Sunday morning…to be quite honest June would probably not remember saying that to me because it was so small and insignificant…but not to me!
Thanks to God speaking through June, I am now trying harder to fight! Striving with His strength to change! I have a long road to hall, but at least I am not where I was, and I have  a 80 year old frail and “worthless” in most people’s eyes to thank for
Never underestimate our GREAT GOD! He might be trying to get a hold of you…and most likely it wont come in the way you expect…and so now you are thinking “well how do I now miss it?”
The answer to hearing the still small voice, will seem simple…but oh hard it is esp. in this microwave society where we are always rushing and want our answers NOW!
The way to hear the still small voice is to very simply:
“Be still!” “BE still and KNOW that HE IS GOD!”
He will speak how He chooses! Open your eyes! Be looking for God, for those Who seek Him DO FIND HIM! “Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you!”
So are you listening?